Year 48.....MY Time to Shine!!!

I have always been a people pleaser; it’s what I do best. I will go along with things I don’t always want to do just so I don’t upset someone. I put my wants and needs aside to make other people happy instead of doing what I want. But lately I have realized that it is not always what is best for me.   So with that said I have made the conscious decision to put me first. Not in a selfish way, because that’s not who I am, but more in a “take care of Tanya” way.

I will not tolerate lying, liars and those people who believe their own truths and expect everyone else to believe them. I have always stood back and bit my tongue, but no more. If you want to lie to me, expect to get called out or just remove yourself from my world.

The “it’s all about me”, “poor me” and “the glass is always half empty” type that are out there, move on. There are so many people in this world who are way worse off than any of us. We all need to remember that WE are the ONLY ones who can make our lives better or change what we do not like. No one else has that power. So if you want to continue to be that person, please step aside.

Then there are those who always think they are “owed” something. I’m sorry, but I think I have re-paid any debts I have to you.

I have had some horrible things happen to me in my life and hit some of the lowest lows but I have prevailed and will continue to do so.  What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

The best things in my life are shared with my family and friends. I have an amazing family,  stong  loving children and the most adorable grandchildren. I also have friends who believe in me and I know are always there no matter what I am truly blessed!!

 I am an honest, loving, caring and fun person. These are qualities that I really like about me and I don’t want to change that!

I am lucky because I have the most wonderful husband, best friend, lover and soul mate all rolled into one. He gives me the confidence that I sometimes lack and is helping me to realize I am stronger than I ever thought possible.  And that makes me love him even more. Big E and I have raised our family and now it’s our time to live.

I am going to start standing up for myself, have more self confidence, and realize that I am just as important as the next guy. I am to take time to smell the roses, make time for little get-a-ways and enjoy the small things with those that I choose. If I want to change something in my life, I am going to do it! Why? Because it’s MY time to shine!!

Mystical, Magical Monterey

Big E just finished his project in Monterey. Over the last 1 1/2 years, it was our home away from home and my great escape. We made so many great memories there, just the two of us as well as with our family. Here are a few of the things we loved and will miss....

First, the food!!!

Sparky's Root Beer! Brewed and Bottled in Pacific Grove. Seriously the best root beer EVER!!!

Holly's Lighthouse Cafe in Pacific Grove. Great place for breakfast and we made new friends here!

Archie's American Diner. It's right off Cannery Row, great for breakfast or lunch! We liked to draw on the paper on the table while we were enjoying the view of the ocean and waiting for our food!

                                                               Big E's Horse-Dog

                                                           My Famous E & T 143

Domenico's on Fisherman's Wharf. Can you say YUM??? Great dinner and boy what a view of the seals playing and sea lions barking! On occassion, you can even see an otter!

The Fish Hopper....Ahhhh The Fish Hopper!!! Our FAVORITE dinner place! The food is amazing, The Staff is very friendly and helpful,  The View is beautiful and sometimes you even have a dinner guest!!!

                                                                Our Dinner Guest!!!

Next up....some things around town......

Old Fisherman's Wharf in Monterey. We loved to just walk around, shop, enjoy the sights and try all the clam chowder.

Pacific Grove Lighthouse. The beacon is so bright and beautiful at night! It sits right off the Pacific Grove golfcourse. So you can enjoy watching golfers, the ocean and yes the beach deer as well!

The drive to Big Sur. The views are amazing, the ocean is vibrant with so many variations of color and the bridges are historic! If you have never traveled Highway 1 from Monterey to Big Sur, put it on you to do list. It is such a beautiful drive with a lot of great places to stop and enjoy along the way.

Lover's Point-Pacific Grove

And the 17-Mile Drive from Monterey to Carmel! One of my favorite's is The Lone Cypress in Pebble Beach. So beautiful and tranquil!

The list goes on and on but in order to save time, I will move on to the next category...the wildlife!

The seals! Monterey County has SO many seals! Playing, sunbathing and barking! One of my favorite things was waking up in the morning and standing on the balcony listening to the seals barking!

The Seagulls...yes The Seagulls! They are kind of a bother at times, but in Monterey I loved them! We even had them as our dinner guests a couple of times!

The Pelicans! To me, they kind of look royal the way they perch on the wharf. But watch out when the fishermen come in and throw the scraps...they will fight the seals!

The beach/golf course deer! You can find them wandering the streets in Pacific Grove, roaming on the beach and on almost every golf course! They don't even flinch when they hear "FORE"!!!!

And I've saved the best for last......

  The Otters!!! Eric took me to Moss Landing State Beach every Sunday, rain or shine, so I could watch them play! Seriously I could watch them for hours! I must have taken a thousand pictures of them! And I got real lucky twice where they came wandering right up on the beach where we were! I think they liked me. I know I miss them! Big E bought me a small stuffed otter that sits in my car so I have one with me everyday!!

But what I really miss and will cherish forever is The Adventures of E&T!!!

We had some really great times together there! Explored, ate, enjoyed time with our family and had many adventures!

Momterey County has a special place in my heart. I know we will go back for many years to come. And, who knows, maybe one day we will live there.

But for now, I have all my wonderful memories.......

Calgon....Take me away!

If ever there was a time in my life that I just wanted to run away and not face it, it's now. So much drama!!! Two things I do not like and can not tolerate are drama and lies, and right now there is an abundance of both in my life.
I try to be a good person, a loving family member and go with what my heart knows is right. So why do I get put in the middle of everyone else's stuff? Is it because I don't stand my ground enough? I don't call people out on their lies? I'm too passive and want to please everyone? I'm not sure of the answer to these things right now.
Maybe I will be able to change on my path to self discovery. Grow a backbone, stand up for me, my values and what I know is right. I don't like to see people in my life upset so I hold it all in, then I'm the one who pays. Is it selfish of me to want to stand up for me and put other things in perspective even if someone gets hurt by the honest truth?
So the journey to self discovery continues! But in the meantime...CALGON!!!!

Purpose

What is my purpose in life? Is it just to be a wife? A mother? A 9-5 worker? Or is there something bigger life has in store for me? Don't get me wrong, I love being a wife, a mom and working in the non-profit field but lately I've been thinking maybe there's something bigger out there I should be doing. I am surrounded by so many amazing and inspirational people and it makes me want to do more. But what? I feel it's time to start my journey to self discovery. I'm not sure where it will take me but I'm ready. Are you?

"T" Time

I am trying to find a way to use my alone time productively. I enjoy reading blogs, always have random thoughts going through my head and really do like to write, I think I am going to give this a try.

My hope is to express my thoughts, my fears, my "ahhhh" moments as well as my E-Ticket ride called life. Where this will take me is to be determined, but where it's beginning is with one of my favorite poems, IF.......

If

If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win, but you think you can't,
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.

~ C. W. Longenecker ~