They say “nice guys finish last”. Well then maybe, just maybe, I’m a nice guy. Whatever it is, the first quarter of 2012 has not been fun. Don’t get me wrong, I have done some fun and some fulfilling things, but in general it’s not been fun!
Eric and I are both fortunate we have job stability. And in these times, we are two of the lucky ones. But on the other hand, our jobs are not fun.
Eric is working on a Navy base on an island 89 miles away. I know an island sounds fun but not this island; it’s not tropical in any way. The job is a nightmare for many reasons. He is away from home, logistics stink, the product that is coming to him is horrible, the Navy tells him when to wake up, when to eat and when lights go out, just to name a few. Not to mention the two days a week he is home, he’s exhausted, eating or working. Right now there’s not much “quality of life” for him and that breaks my heart. I miss him terribly when he’s away. He is my soul mate, best friend, husband and my rock.
I have been at my job 5 years this July and I love what I do, but the last few months have been hard. My co-worker left in September and I have assumed most of her responsibilities. I learn something new almost daily, handle our website and social media, communicate with our member organizations and had a great time spearheading one of our grant cycles. (I’ve even dabbled a bit in the accounting area)The problem is, I have taken on so much extra work and still have not received a raise or promotion. I am really feeling defeated.
So we work hard all year, pay our bills & taxes, getting my dental work done little by little and have a little extra we can spend every month. And the payback we receive, we owe the IRS because Eric was lucky enough to get 2 bonuses last year! Never mind that they tax the crap out of us all year, they want more!
Our “kids” all seem to be doing well in their adult lives. Again, we are fortunate because they all have jobs. We successfully raised 6 kids, have 3 beautiful grandchildren and our youngest son is getting married next weekend. But, yes there’s a but, I have one of my children who hasn’t talked to me for over two months. Why? Well from what I’m told I said something negative about him. I have tried calling, texting and emailing and still receive no answer; I’ve just been cut out of his life. I have tried to keep it between us but it is also affecting Eric and our grandchild. They are both caught in the middle. It breaks my heart.
I have degenerative gum and bone disease and have been trying to get my dental work finished for the last year. My mouth hurts all the time. It gives me headaches and it hurts when I eat. Every time I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel something else comes along. Another filling, another loose tooth that can’t be saved, another deep cleaning and it’s all costly and painful. Now thanks to the IRS, no pay increase, as of yet, having to be responsible for our home-dogs & bills, and an upcoming trip for the wedding, the light is dimming yet again.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not a half empty type of person. I always try to look on the brighter side of things. I do have so many wonderful things in my life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally, a loving family, an upcoming wedding, beautiful healthy grandkids, job stability and some good friends. But lately I find myself crying all the time.
At this time I think I need to find my happiness again. Not just when I am spending time with Big E but all the happiness this world has to offer. I know I can do this because I AM one of the good guys and I WILL NOT finish last!
Here’s to a wonderful new beginning of 2012………
